Seasons & episodes
S1 · E5Love Comes to Royston Vasey 1999-02-08 · 30 min
Ben tries to escape from the Dentons. Henry and Ally go to the wrong film but try to make the best of it. Geoff gives a very truthful and upsetting speech at Mike's wedding.
S1 · E6Escape from Royston Vasey 1999-02-15 · 30 min
Tubbs & Edward's son David returns. Ben leaves Royston Vasey. Ross reveals a secret.
S2 · E1Destination: Royston Vasey 2000-01-14 · 30 min
The carnival comes to town and Pauline starts at the Restart Room as a jobseeker. Val makes a wish on a magic toad that brings back Benjamin. A nosebleed epidemic breaks out at the circus.
S2 · E2Lust for Royston Vasey 2000-01-21 · 30 min
The nosebleed epidemic continues. Pauline gets a new job as an assistant food science operative at Burger Me! Herr Lipp and students arrive on an exchange visit from Diusberg, and the guesthouse closes for a very private function.
S2 · E3A Plague on Royston Vasey 2000-01-28 · 30 min
Pen-obsessed Pauline tackles Ross about her job prospects or lack thereof, and Edward sets a trap to catch a bride for David. Butcher Hilary Briss has a problem with one of his "special" customers.
S2 · E4Death in Royston Vasey 2000-02-04 · 30 min
Hilary Briss and Maurice take an early walk in the woods to collect a "Special Delivery." Mike, Brian, and Geoff get lost on their way to a plastics convention, and Morris is dealt with.
S2 · E5Anarchy in Royston Vasey 2000-02-11 · 30 min
Pauline leaves her hostage with Mikey to go in search of food. Geoff and Brian bury Mike alive, and Tubbs and Edward catch a no-tail. Lee finds that Creme Brulee has reformed without him.
S2 · E6Royston Vasey and the Monster from Hell 2000-02-18 · 30 min
Roysten Vasey is quarantined as the nosebleed epidemic claims a distinguished victim. The Legz Akimbo Theatre Group comes to town, and there is a wedding at the local shop.
S3 · E1The Lesbian and the Monkey 2002-09-26 · 30 min
Ross springs Pauline from jail--provided she can find evidence to convict Mickey and get him off the Dole.
S3 · E2The One-Armed Man Is King 2002-10-03 · 30 min
Lance bribes hospital disc jockey Mike King to arrange an under-the-counter arm transplant. Meanwhile, Glenn and Barry fail miserably in an attempt to recover outstanding debts.
S3 · E3Turn Again Geoff Tipps 2002-10-10 · 30 min
Geoff is fired from his job and leaves in an attempt to make it as a stand-up comedian in London. There he runs into the Legz Akimbo team and Mike.
S3 · E4The Medusa Touch 2002-10-17 · 30 min
Regular Cast: Mark as Alvin Steele / Les McQueen Steve as Daddy / Nancy Glass / Barbara [voice] / Anne Hand Reese as Noel Glass / Judith Buckle / Terry Lollard B&B proprietors Alvin and Sunny invite their weekend 'Sexplorers' to join them in a voyage of auto-erotic discovery - although Alvin would prefer to be at the garden centre. But who is the mysterious femme fatale in the dwarf conifers and what is the secret of the fearsome 'Medusa'? The Ending: Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen is having a fag with his wig off in the backyard of the Windermere when the white van comes crashing through the wall, sending tons of bricks down on him...
S3 · E5Beauty and the Beast (Or, Come into My Parlour) 2002-10-24 · 30 min
Regular Cast: Mark as Tony / Iris Krell [voice] / Neds / Professor Breastpinch'd Steve as Charlie Hull Reese as Stella Hull / Judee Levinson / Keith Drop CHARLIE & STELLA / MRS LEVINSON: The Hulls' marriage seems to have disintegrated beyond repair and Stella's hooked on playing fruit machines. Meanwhile, Charlie starts working for Judee Levinson at her new beauty salon, the ""Spit and Polish"", doing massages on blindfolded clients, who think it's Judee doing them herself. His healing hands wow the customers, until an old man asks if he can do any ""extras"". Word spreads and the salon is packed with the men of Royston Vasey, blissfully unaware they are being w* off by Charlie. When Tony comes for one of the ""special massages"", Charlie becomes obsessed with him and falls in love with him, eventually telling Tony he's the masseur with the magic hands. Tony is disgusted and the s* hits the fan: Stella wins big on the fruit machines and jets off overseas, and Judee sacks him.
S3 · E6How The Elephant Got Its Trunk 2002-10-31 · 30 min
After a bag is blown out the window of the Charity Shop Vinnie spots it on a country road and sets out in hot pursuit. Papa Lazarou returns and all the series' loose ends are tied up.