Seasons & episodes

Mailbag: Tony mentions he's taken up acting, then shows two remarkably similar clips from Patch Adams and Shakespeare In Love. Also, NBA head honcho David Stern presents the Top Ten.

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Dave says a focus group doesn't like his ""Countdown to the Millennium"" segment, so Paul gives one last fact: ""Danny Aiello will get another series."" Rather than bow down in defeat, Dave introduces a segment called ""Shark Week,"" which actually started the previous night. The premise is that Dave and Paul try to talk about sharks, but quickly come to realize that they know almost nothing about them, and change the topic.

Dave and Paul discuss William Wood Lee Shaffer's diapers. Later, Paul interrupts the ""Shark Week"" segment with another Millennium prediction: ""The new black… will be black.""

Biff shows up with a tie for a ""Know Your Current Events"" contestant; Bill Murray promotes Rushmore and serenades Dave.

Dave announces he and Paul are trying to establish a video nexus; during Mailibag, Anton falls down an elevator shaft, while Paul and Dave shoot Regis with paintballs; ten firefighters present the Top Ten.

It's the seventeenth anniversary of Dave's debut in late night, and what is he going to do to celebrate the milestone? ""Absolutely nothing."" Also, Tony Randall reports from yesterday's Super Bowl XXXIII, while Dave offers to sing the national anthem at next year's game.

Dave mentions that through the wonders of science, Paul Shaffer had another baby over the weekend, and then introduces Bernard Shaffer in the green room; during ""Who Asked For It?"", an audience member demands to see something related to Groundhog Day, so ""a groundhog"" (Gerard) walks onstage and harasses Dave; Catherine Bell promotes J.A.G.

Dave and Paul spend ten minutes discussing the new and improved ""Late Show"" home site; Dave chats with ""John Elway"" (Gerard) after the star quarterback is last minute no-show; Creed performs a garbled rendition of their hit ""Take Me Higher.""

Dave reads about Bucknell University for a ""KYCE"" participant; Laetitia Casta is interviewed twice.

Nile Rogers fills in for both Felicia and Will Lee, who are both sick; Martha Stewart has some fun with a batch of pinecones.

""Biff Henderson's America"" makes a quick stop in Baker, Nevada. Also, Dave chats with the Reverend and Mrs. John Cobb, who tell their incredible story of how they met after a mailed marriage proposal never came through.

Dave chats with (live via satellite) Al at Prestige Luggage Company in Dallas. Dave is so fascinated by him that the segment runs for almost fifteen minutes, and later Al presents #1 on the Top Ten list.

Dave rants about the internet, while Bob Borden literally searches for a valentine.

Orlando Antigua of the Harlem Globetrotters helps out during ""Know Your Current Events,"" while Sandra Bullock promotes Forces of Nature.

Dave discusses signature sign-offs and announces his new one will be ""Keep a light coat of oil on it""; during Mailbag, Gerard discusses nudity in film and gets distracted by his speech very easily; Richard Simmons flies around a la Cupid before his interview, but storms off after Dave kisses Nadine and the Mailbag Girl.

Tonight marks the debut of ""Alan Kalter's Secret Word."" Tonight's utterance: ""gristle."" Also, racing star Jeff Gordon presents the Top Ten, while Dave gives the blue cards for the ""What They'll Be Doing Next"" segment to Corky Ramirez to send to the comedy museum.

Lou Soloff of Blood, Sweat and Tears sits in with the horn section; Alan's secret word is ""magnesium""; Dave chats with champion figure skater Tara Lipinski.

The secret word is ""mongoose""; ten West Point cadet presents the Top Ten; Julian Lennon performs The Beatles' ""Don't Let Me Down.""

The secret word is ""hydraulic""; Dave gives a photographer in the audience a Polaroid to shoot pictures during the show; Jake Gyllenhaal plugs October Sky.

The secret word is ""buttress""; during Mailbag, Dave and Linda Tripp appear on $25,000 Pyramid; ten hot dog vendors present the Top Ten.

Dave takes five minutes to comment on the sudden death of Gene Siskel, then shows a clip from his last appearance on the show; Alan interrupts to show everybody his gritty new 10-10-346 ad; Dave claims that if you want to hear #1 of the ""Top Ten Mike Tyson Complaints About TV,"" you have to go to his web site.

Alan's secret word is ""bobcat,"" and the jackpot now stands at ""seven hundred damn dollars!"" Also, Kreskin participates in a new game called ""North Dakota/South Dakota,"" where he must correctly guess which state a mystery person is calling from.

The secret word is ""barnacle;"" Dave answers a phone call from Sweden; in a segment about the hype surrounding Star Wars Episode One, George Clarke impersonates Mark Hamill.