Seasons & episodes

Ozzy continues to work out with his trainer, Pete, who Ozzy jokes may be a robot because he never stops talking, sweats, eats or goes to the bathroom. Ozzy is to run five miles on his 54th birthday. He runs almost two miles before he is stopped by a foot injury. The family throws a party for Ozzy's birthday, complete with a fireworks display by Jack and Robert. Ozzy eventually tries to run the five miles again, and succeeds this time. Meanwhile, Ozzy has problems with his new car, as the voice recognition system can't understand a word he says.

Ozzy and Sharon prepare to leave for a few days on a Hawaiian vacation. Ozzy tells Jack that he is no longer to have people over at the house after 11 PM. Kelly is afraid that Jack will turn the house into a nonstop party while their parents are gone. Sharon promises to talk to him, but this does little to reassure Kelly. Jack has a lot of people over late at night, and they soon begin using the pool and making a lot of noise. Kelly becomes very upset because she is tired of Jack and his friends keeping her from sleeping. He refuses to listen to Melinda when she asks them to be quiet. When Kelly confronts Jack, he dares her to hit him, so she nails him in the face. They get into a fight, and the staff has to pry them apart. Kelly calls Sharon for sympathy, but Jack gets on the line and complains about the cuts to the face he sustained from the punch. Kelly feels Jack deserved what he got; Melinda agrees somewhat, but warns Kelly to be careful about her temper. Sharon and Ozz

Ozzy decides to stay home while Sharon, Melinda and the kids travel to New York. Sharon hopes that Ozzy and Robert will spend more time together, but the two mostly avoid one another because they have little in common. Robert spends a lot of time listening to music and dancing in his guest house, and Ozzy cannot get one of the songs out of his head. Ozzy buys a lot of kitchenware, and spends over $600 on candy for Sharon. Meanwhile, Melinda learns that she is pregnant, and annoys Kelly by talking about her pregnancy nonstop. Kelly also gets into a playful wrestling match with Sharon.

Sharon receives a peace offering from one of her folk-singing neighbors, but the neighbors on the other side begin to drive the family crazy by playing tennis at all hours of the day and night. Jack tries playing drums outside, and Ozzy blasts the loudest, most obnoxious music he can find. However, nothing seems to have an effect on the neighbors. Jack shoots at the court with his paintball gun, leading to a visit from the police. Sharon suspects that the neighbors are responsible when three of the Osbournes' cats disappear, although the coyotes seem the more likely culprit. Kelly brings home another cat, but Ozzy isn't very happy about it.

Jack visits the home of singer/actress Courtney Love. He begins dating Kurt Cobain's sister Brieann, who is staying with Courtney. They get along very well, and Jack teaches her some of his favorite recipes, including beans on toast. Sharon is touched to learn that Jack has a tattoo of the word ""Mom"" with a heart around it. (He got it right after she was diagnosed with cancer.) Ozzy tries out some song lyrics on Sharon, who is busy shopping at the time. He later plays a demo of the new song for Jack and Brieann. Ozzy is bewildered by a rotisserie turkey as it cooks in the kitchen.

After 17 years of waiting, Ozzy fulfills his dream of taking Jack on a fishing trip. They get in trouble with the captain for throwing firecrackers at the pelicans. Everyone on board places bets on who can catch the largest fish, and a friend of Jack's wins the contest. Ozzy winds up catching some tin cans and a bird. He also momentarily mistakes a seal for a shark. Nevertheless, they both have a great time on the trip.

Jack and Robert fly to England to spend time at the Osbournes' other home. Jack shows Robert the house and introduces him to the family's oldest dog, Sugar. Some of Jack's friends also come over to hang out with them and drink. Lola grows lonely and bored because she misses Jack so much. Sharon also laments the departures of both Jack and Kelly, who is away on tour. Meanwhile, Ozzy uncovers an old keyboard from his Black Sabbath days and tries to get it working again. He also becomes fascinated with carrot cake, but Pete tries to stop him from overdoing it. Jack and Kelly return home and are reunited with their loved ones.

Kelly experiences problems in her relationship with Bert. He finally breaks up with her over the phone on Valentine's Day, claiming that no one took him seriously because he was dating her. Kelly becomes extremely irritable and depressed, and takes her anger out on the family. She argues with Sharon, who suggests that she find another manager; and bites Jack on the arm. She overhears her family talking about her and decides to leave home. Meanwhile, Jack is alarmed when he acts out violently in his sleep. He wakes up one night to find himself beating up Lola. On another night, he attacks Minnie; and is horrified to wake up and discover that he has killed her. He flees the house with the body. A devastated Sharon retreats to the family's Malibu home to escape memories of Minnie. Ozzy is left all alone, with no one to help him fix the television. Suddenly, the director yells, ""Cut!"" Ozzy rejoins his family (including Minnie) in another room, and it is revealed that this episo

The Osbournes prepare for Christmas in a series of skits. The dogs are dressed in festive attire; Sharon horrifies Kelly by trying to make her dress ""Christmasy"" for the family's upcoming party; Mandy Moore tries in vain to get Jack and Kelly into the holiday spirit; and Ozzy very reluctantly performs a holiday duet with fellow MTV reality star Jessica Simpson. The family hosts a blow-out celebrity bash for the holidays, complete with cooking segments, a visit from Santa, Christmas carols, and a unique version of ""'Twas the Night Before Christmas.""

S3 · E1The Show Must Go Oz 2004-01-27＋

Sharon faces pressure from the powers that be behind her talk show, who are disappointed in her performance and expect her to work harder. She refuses to incorporate their suggestions into the show. Kelly and Jack grow tired of appearing on Sharon's show; both refuse her request for a co-hosting appearance. Ozzy very reluctantly agrees to appear in the Halloween episode. He believes that he is going to just be a guest, and is furious when he learns (at the last minute) that he is to serve as co-host. Meanwhile, the Osbournes' property undergoes some re-decorating. The workmen struggle to move a gigantic Buddha statue across the yard.

S3 · E2Car Jacked 2004-02-03＋

Jack turns 18 and receives a car as a birthday present. Kelly doesn't believe that he will pass his driver's test because he is such a poor driver, but Sharon disagrees. Jack practices parallel parking with his assistant, and winds up crashing into another car. Jack passes his test, receiving a perfect score on the driving portion of the exam. Meanwhile, Kelly frets about yet another confrontation with Christina Aguilera, this time during the MTV Europe Awards.

S3 · E3Rebel Without an Ozz 2004-02-10＋

Ozzy and Sharon fret about all of the time they must spend apart as she works on her talk show. One of Sharon's scheduled guests, rapper/actor DMX, runs late and is in danger of not making it to the show on time. He has a history of being late or skipping out on events, and Sharon finds the whole situation very amusing. Ozzy gives everyone who stops by the house a tour of his new home studio. He enjoys watching porn on the state-of-the-art TV. Ozzy also buys a new motorcycle, but isn't quite sure how to start it. Meanwhile, Jack and his friends find new and disgusting ways to entertain themselves.

S3 · E4Return of the Ring 2004-02-17＋

Ozzy loses a diamond pinkie ring that is worth over $100,000. He becomes obsessed with trying to find it, and pleads with Sharon not to buy any more jewelry. She doesn't pay attention to his decree, and also buys his and her Bentleys. Ozzy eventually finds the ring, but is upset to learn that Sharon plans to buy Kelly a ring for her birthday. Meanwhile, one of the dogs, Colin, has to be fixed because he continuously humps everything in sight.

S3 · E5The Accidental Tourist (1) 2004-02-24＋

Kelly and Ozzy plan to travel to England, where they are to perform a duet of ""Changes,"" the title track from Kelly's sophomore album, on Top of the Pops. Ozzy upsets Kelly by saying that he doesn't want to come with her, but Sharon assures her that he will change his mind. Kelly's boyfriend, Rob, joins her on the trip. Ozzy annoys Kelly when he immediately complains of boredom and says that he wants to go back to Los Angeles. They later get along well while riding ATVs on the family's estate. Everyone seems pleased with their duet, and Ozzy predicts that it could hit number one on the U.K. charts. Before a talk show appearance, Kelly gets into a fight with Rob. They apparently break up, and he returns to the U.S. Ozzy suffers an accident while riding one of the ATVs. His bodyguard finds him lying on the ground, unconscious.

S3 · E6The English Patient (2) 2004-04-06＋

After three weeks in the hospital, Ozzy is released and continues to convalesce at his home in England. He and Sharon miss each other desperately. Ozzy develops a craving for eclairs, and cannot get enough of them. Meanwhile, Jack finally gets a hair cut after two years. Sharon experiences more problems with her talk show. Publicists begin pulling their clients from the show because they do not approve of Sharon's behavior, and Sharon grows tired of the constant tinkering with the show (adding cooking segments and makeovers). She decides to quit the show, and no one really fights her on it. She and Ozzy agree that they will no longer work unless it is a project they can take together. Ozzy is able to fly back home to Los Angeles, and is greeted warmly by the family.

S3 · E7Scent of a Woman 2004-04-13＋

Kelly annoys everyone, particularly Sharon, with her disgusting lack of personal hygiene as she refuses to shower for a long period of time. She is upset when Sharon accuses her of smoking. Ozzy receives a letter supposedly from the Prime Minister of Canada asking him to come to Canada to receive an award. Ozzy, however, suspects that the whole thing is a hoax.

S3 · E8Pain in the Neck 2004-04-20＋

Ozzy grows increasingly frustrated about being cooped up around the house. He misses Sharon, who is busy working on her show, and is upset about the weight he has been gaining because he cannot work out. He also hates the bulky neck brace that he is forced to wear. Jack gets another tattoo and reveals it to Ozzy. Ozzy is so bored that he goes out grocery shopping with his assistant, Tony, even though he hates to shop. He later joins Jack at the shooting range. Ozzy is soon able to begin using the treadmill again, and receives the good news that he can take off the neck brace.

S3 · E9Ozzy Knows Best 2004-04-27＋

Ozzy is upset by Kelly's tendency to wear revealing outfits when she goes out to clubs and parties. She feels that he is being overprotective. Ozzy worries about the behavior of one of the bulldogs, Colin, as he is attacking the other dogs (especially Lola). He tries to give him away to an employee, but Jack strongly objects. Ozzy grows frustrated, as he feels that no one pays attention to anything he says. He and Jack eventually patch things up, and Sharon tries to get through to Kelly.

S3 · E10Valentine Daze 2004-05-04＋

Kelly continues to spend time with Rob, but doesn't want to be his girlfriend because he wants a committed relationship and she feels that she is too young to settle down. Sharon and Melinda try to convince her to change her mind. Jack heads off to Las Vegas. Ozzy and Sharon worry that he will spend too much time gambling. Kelly tells her parents that she is going to drive to San Diego. They don't want her to go, but eventually offer their approval. She actually has lied and is headed to Vegas as well. Ozzy becomes annoyed with Sharon for trying to decorate his studio. Ozzy and Sharon spend Valentine's Day together and express the hopes that their kids will meet someone special soon. They reflect on their years together.

S4 · E1Sleepless in Beverly Hills 2005-01-17＋

Ozzy begins suffering from insomnia. He eventually undergoes testing with a sleep disorder expert to determine the cause. Jack gets a tattoo of a cross on his chest, but Ozzy and Sharon do not like it.

S4 · E2Have Ozz Will Travel (1) 2005-01-24＋

The family tries to decide where to go on vacation. Sharon turns down Fiji because none of the hotels meet her standards, while Ozzy nixes a number of other locations for various reasons. Sharon ultimately decides on Hawaii, although Ozzy is still reluctant to go. Meanwhile, Kelly wins a major role in a television pilot. She must miss out on the family's vacation to go to Vancouver for filming.

S4 · E3Hawaii Five Ozz (2) 2005-01-31＋

Ozzy, Sharon and Jack head to Hawaii for their vacation. Ozzy continues to be miserable for a while, but cheers up following a private luau. Jack goes diving in a shark cage. His friends invite strippers to the luau, and behave in ways that embarrass him. The traveling party winds up leaving without Jack's friends when they fail to show up on time for their flight.

S4 · E4Kelly Interrupted 2005-02-07＋

Kelly irritates her mother by getting a lip ring. Ozzy and Jack are convinced that Kelly's erratic behavior and chronic illness are the result of drug use, but Sharon refuses to hear of it. Kelly eventually admits the truth to Sharon and enters rehab. Ozzy and Sharon don't believe she will stay at the facility for long.

S4 · E528 Days Later 2005-02-14＋

Kelly struggles to adjust to life in rehab, and frequently calls home requesting various personal belongings. She wants to leave, but Jack urges her to tough it out. Jack celebrates both his birthday and a year of sobriety. Kelly arrives home and becomes frustrated by the curfew and other rules she must follow. She clashes with her mother often, and accuses Sharon of messing with her head when she expresses her concerns.