Seasons & episodes
S2 · E22Peggy's Turtle Song 1998-05-10 · 22 min
After Bobby eats too much sugar one morning, he is mistakenly diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. Feeling guilty about not spending enough time with her son, Peggy decides to give up teaching and be a stay-at-home mother, a decision Hank fully approves of. But Peggy is so bored at home that she starts taking guitar lessons, and composes a symbolic song about a turtle trapped in her shell. Meanwhile, Bobby takes pills for his ADD, and Luanne becomes convinced that she caught ADD from Bobby.
S2 · E23Propane Boom 1998-05-17 · 22 min
When Mega Lo Mart starts selling propane, Strickland Propane can't compete with their prices, and Hank loses his job. He winds up working in the propane department at Mega Lo Mart, under the supervision of Luanne's boyfriend Buckley. Hank and other Mega Lo Mart employees decide to protest the way the company destroys small businesses, by disrupting a concert by the company spokesman, Chuck Mangione. Meanwhile, Luanne, who wanted Buckley to give her the job that he gave to Hank, tells Buckley she's breaking up with him. And Hank, Luanne and Buckley are the only people in the Mega Lo Mart when Hank notices a leak...
S3 · E1Death of a Propane Salesman 1998-09-15 · 22 min
Hank and Luanne survive the Mega Lo Mart explosion, but Buckley is no more. Hank finds that he is scared of propane, and tries to figure out how to deal with his fear of dying. Meanwhile, Luanne, who lost all her hair in the explosion, decides to become an activist like Sinead O'Connor.
S3 · E2And They Call It Bobby Love 1998-09-22 · 22 min
Bobby starts dating Marie, a girl who's two years older than him. Bobby takes the relationship more seriously than Marie does, and is heartbroken when she dances with other guys. Marie decides to "move on" leaving Bobby an emotional wreck. Meanwhile, Hank and the guys find an abandoned couch in the alley, and grow to depend on it.
S3 · E3Peggy's Headache 1998-10-06 · 22 min
When Peggy starts writing "musings" for the local newspaper, the pressure gives her a headache, so she goes to John Redcorn for a therapeutic massage. When she finds out that Dale's wife Nancy is having an affair with John Redcorn, she is so horrified that she decides to tell Dale about it.
S3 · E4Pregnant Paws 1998-10-13 · 22 min
Hank wants to breed Ladybird, but the veterinarian says that she has a narrow uterus and probably can't have children. Hank becomes obsessed with finding a way to get Ladybird pregnant, which annoys Peggy, because she's the one who really wants another baby. Meanwhile, Dale becomes a bounty hunter and is assigned to hunt down a man with several unpaid parking tickets. He decides that he needs a hound to accompany him on his first bounty, so he nabs Ladybird, to Hank's horror.
S3 · E5Next of Shin 1998-11-03 · 22 min
Hank tries several different methods to improve his sperm count so he can get Peggy pregnant. The frustration of not being able to have another child becomes worse when Cotton shows up and announces that he got his wife pregnant. But Cotton becomes so nervous at the prospect of having a baby at his age that he flees to Las Vegas, and Hank, Bill and Dale go after him.
S3 · E6Peggy's Pageant Fever 1998-11-10 · 22 min
A beauty pageant offers Peggy the chance to win a truck. If she can endure a series of rigorous makeovers to impress the judges.
S3 · E7Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men 1998-11-17 · 22 min
Hank is outraged when he attends a lawn mower focus group and discovers that the new model of his favorite mower has been turned into an upgraded "yuppified" version.
S3 · E8Good Hill Hunting 1998-12-01 · 22 min
All the kids in the neighborhood are going on their first hunt, but Hank is unable to get a hunting license for him and Bobby. Bobby is so upset about being denied the chance at a rite of passage that he starts to regress into acting like a little kid. Hank reluctantly decides to take Bobby hunting at the La Grunta Resort.
S3 · E9Pretty, Pretty Dresses 1998-12-15 · 22 min
At Christmastime, Bill becomes even more depressed than usual, because it's the anniversary of when his wife Lenore left him. Bill tries to commit suicide, and when that doesn't work out, he dresses up in Lenore's old clothes and declares that he is Lenore.
S3 · E10A Firefighting We Will Go 1999-01-12 · 22 min
Hank and his friends become volunteer firefighters. They manage to wreck a fire hydrant, ruin a funeral, and finally burn down the Arlen firehouse. When the Fire Captain comes to ask what happened, the trio turns the story around to match each of their scenarios.
S3 · E11To Spank, With Love 1999-01-19 · 22 min
After being taunted and pantsed by one of her students, Peggy loses it and spanks him. She is immediately fired, but Cotton and his old buddies start a campaign to get "Paddlin' Peggy" reinstated. Once she is back teaching, Peggy uses her reputation for violence to scare her students, and takes things too far, in true Peggy fashion.
S3 · E12Three Coaches and a Bobby 1999-01-26 · 22 min
Hank gets his tough old football coach to lead Bobby's football team. When the coach proves to be a tyrant, Bobby decides to quit football and join the soccer team, much to Hank's disappointment. Meanwhile, Peggy tries to fit in with the other soccer moms, and takes a crash course from Minh on Soccer-mom etiquette.
S3 · E13De-Kahnstructing Henry 1999-02-02 · 22 min
Kahn gets a great new job and invites Hank over to the office, hoping to make him jealous. While bragging about his job, Kahn gives away government secrets, swearing Hank to secrecy. Hank talks to Bill about Kahn's job, and Kahn gets fired for it.
S3 · E14The Wedding of Bobby Hill 1999-02-09 · 22 min
Angry that Luanne cost him his job house-sitting Boomhauer's house, Bobby replaces her birth control pills with candy.
S3 · E15Sleight of Hank 1999-02-16 · 22 min
Hank and Peggy go to a magic show where Peggy gets to be the volunteer in the best trick. Hank tries to figure out how the trick was done, and Peggy won't tell him. Meanwhile, Bobby is looking for a way to liven up his Sunday School report on Jesus, and when he sees the magician, he incorporates some of the tricks and patter into the report, calling it "The Amazing Jesus."
S3 · E16Jon Vitti Presents: "Return to La Grunta" 1999-02-23 · 22 min
Hank gets Luanne a job as a golf course drink girl at the La Grunta resort. In gratitude, Luanne gets Hank a chance to swim with a dolphin. Hank pets the dolphin, and the dolphin becomes aroused and tries to become sexually intimate with him. In return for his silence, the hotel pays him off, and Hank tells Luanne never to talk about what happened. Luanne gets sexually harassed by one of the golfers, she decides to follow Hank's example and not talk about it.
S3 · E17Escape From Party Island 1999-03-16 · 22 min
Hank takes his mother and her friends to a museum of miniatures in Port Aransas, and they get stuck in the middle of MTV's Spring Break. Meanwhile, Bill tries to put the moves on Peggy while Hank is away.
S3 · E18Love Hurts... and So Does Art 1999-03-23 · 22 min
Worried at the prospect of going to a school dance with Connie, Bobby starts overeating at the local deli, and develops gout. Meanwhile, Hank goes to an art gallery in Dallas and finds that they are displaying an X-ray of his constipated colon.
S3 · E19Hank's Cowboy Movie 1999-04-06 · 22 min
After Hank and Bobby visit the Dallas Cowboys training camp in Wichita Falls, Hank decides to make a video that will convince the team to move their camp to Arlen.
S3 · E20Dog Dale Afternoon 1999-04-13 · 22 min
When Dale brings home a new 'Super Mower' the neighbors are jealous, but his attitude leaves everyone with a bad taste in their mouths. To knock him down a few notches, the crew decides to hide his new mower, & make it look like a conspiracy, Peggy gets involved and it goes too far. Dale gets pushed over the edge & it is Hank that goes to help him back down.
S3 · E21Revenge of the Lutefisk 1999-04-20 · 22 min
Arlen's new minister is a woman, which everyone except Cotton seems to accept. When Bobby eats all of a Midwestern fish dish prepared by the minister, it somehow leads to him accidentally burning down the church. Everyone assumes that Cotton did it, and he is arrested for a hate crime.
S3 · E22Death and Texas 1999-04-27 · 22 min
Peggy gets a letter from a Death Row convict who says that he is a former student of hers, and that she had the most positive impact on his life. She starts visiting him in prison and bringing him what she thinks is timer sand for Boggle -- not realizing that it's actually cocaine. Meanwhile, Dale wants to become an executioner.